Atheist Ireland Forum

The phenomena of partners granting free hall passes, open relationships, sex buddies, friends with benefits etc., seem to becoming either more visible or are simply increasing in popularity. Does anyone else observe this trend? What are the primary causes of these increasing phenomena?

My take on the matter is that monogamy is simply up to individuals in relationships to enforce on themselves, a private pact; like the virtue of giving it's simply its own reward. A person who sleeps around and doesn't lie about it is no more or less moral than a monogamous person who maintains exclusivity with their partner. Monogamy suits some people and doesn't suit others.

However it also seems at least in the West monogamy is a virtue that most individuals are expected to strive for.

Who am I to judge filthy bastards who sleep around and spread diseases?

Personally, I wouldn't want to be with someone who did that any more than I'd want to be with someone who ritually licks the souls of strangers' shoes on the luas. And I'm not thinking about the diseases that are preventable by exercising safe sex here either. That such couples would insist on safe practices is a given. I'm thinking of everything from the common cold to the communicable diseases you can catch during safe sex.

No I certainly haven't noticed a trend. I don't know a single person who has an open relationship by concent. A couple of awful excuses for human beings who regularly cheat on their partners, but not not by concent.

I can't say I've noticed this trend. Not among single people and especially not among those practising monogamy. And I can only really comment about the past 10years or so, I would leave it to someone more senior than I to comment beyond that.

I have however observed this trend in Hollywood cinema with films like Hall Pass (2011), Friends with Benefits (2011) and No Strings Attached (2011).


I think that alot of people in Ireland value monogamy for many reasons. In my opinion, people like security and that's inherent with monogamy. I do think that if children are involved, monogamy is good practice.

If a couple does allow someone else into the relationship, even occasionally, are they really practising monogamy?

I'm in my mid-thirties but because of work I know a fair few twenty somethings socially, and they are no different to how we were "back in the day".



Being based in England, I can't comment on contemporary Irish sexual mores, but again, no great trend to report from this side of the Irish Sea.



No.

I thought it might be just my own circles but seeing adverts for those movies as well as the odd article/forumpost made me wonder if was happening beyond me and the inspiration for the thread. Hence the "seems" in the title.

It got me thinking about monogamy in general and I'm trying to determine why it's supposed to be a virtue. So far my conclusion is that as long as there is consent I can't fault polygamy or those who practice it.

Yeah, I think it's very hard to judge without a proper survey and it's not the type of information you can easily get from people.


I think it's an interesting topic. I was looking into the origins of marriage a while ago - fascinating stuff. In some cases it's quite clearly encouraged to protect wealth.
In a more modern context in Ireland I depends on those involved. If they feel they can lead a better, happier life as polygamists, who is to say monogamy is right for them.

Reminds me of a Guinness advert about 15 years ago where a fella goes to a party and there is a girl there flirting with him wearing T-Shirt that said "Monogamy is Unnatural".

One of the gobshites in the local boozer piped up "what the feck is she on about Monogamy is Unnatural....sure isn't it wood"

LOL.... I dont remember that add. Funny though.

I always loved the one of your man dancing around waiting for his pint to settle.