Sex acts - where is your comfort zone?

Stuff not related to religion or atheism.
Post Reply
chemicals
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1018
Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 5:21 pm
Location: Dublin

Sex acts - where is your comfort zone?

Post by chemicals » Mon Jul 26, 2010 3:30 pm

Dev wrote:I know I was like this when I was 17/18 with gays. At first I thought they were disgusting and crude and shouldn't have the same rights as me. It took many conversations slowly being proved wrong and wrong again that I soon realized it was me who was wrong.
Any chance you tell us more about this matter ?
eg
where did you pick up the original idea ?
and how did you defend it (if at all) ?
what exactly made you change your mind and how hard was it to do so ?
والقس هو مجنون
Dev
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 914
Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:10 pm
Location: Dublin

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by Dev » Mon Jul 26, 2010 4:41 pm

chemicals wrote:
Dev wrote:I know I was like this when I was 17/18 with gays. At first I thought they were disgusting and crude and shouldn't have the same rights as me. It took many conversations slowly being proved wrong and wrong again that I soon realized it was me who was wrong.
Any chance you tell us more about this matter ?
eg
where did you pick up the original idea ?
and how did you defend it (if at all) ?
what exactly made you change your mind and how hard was it to do so ?
To me the idea of doing it with another man was disgusting. Still is, as it is to most men hence why they don't do it. I defended it mostly by saying it was disgusting and just plain weird. Not to mention in secondary school gay is another word for bad. Get hit by a car? Thats gay. Loose your pencil case. Gay. Girlfriend broke up with you. Gay.

As well there is that whole gay pride thing and super flamboyantly gay guys wearing really really gay clothes. I never understood why they had to be so . . . gay. I just didn't get why they couldn't keep it to themselves or in their bedrooms.

Ironically I never had a problem with lesbians or bisexual women just gay men.

I had a flatmate in my first year in college, I got in to an argument about gays. He explained that it is disgusting but so were many other things but that you can't introduce laws on what I thought was disgusting. I didn't admit I was wrong, I was pretty stubborn. However I thought about it in my own time I came to realize he had a point. A few years later in an economics discussion arguing for individual freedom on the conservative side, I argued that as long as something doesn't effect me or others a person should be allowed to do it. This point that I came to on my own made me realize that I shouldn't care about gays or that I couldn't argue against it anymore.

I met an old friend (gay) of my moms in L.A while travelling and he let me stay in his house. He had a party and everyone there was gay except me and my friends. They were actually pretty cool and fed me lots of great food and beer and we had a great time talking about the same things I liked. Gays that I had met before this were just fucking weird. This is when I stopped having any issues with gays.

All this happend over the course of a few years and there are way more events that happened in between. There was a perception problem as well as a reasoning problem. It's all so clear now with hindsight but back then I just thought gays weren't evil just weird and warped individuals.

I can see why many theists are theists. It seems so lucid to us and so simple but to theists it isn't. They've spent decades thinking a certain way and some guys with fancy words and a weird way of putting things comes along telling him his treasured beliefs are wrong and that he's essentially wasted a massive portion of his life.

I mean dismissing all churches, eloquent theologians, religions institutions, important people in their lives, conversations with people they've had. Everything. Atheism smacks of a conspiracy theory i.e. a few individuals secretly con the masses. Religion is so ingrained in human culture that I'm surprised we aren't having a harder time convincing people.

@Everyone above this post. Good questions, I really haven't looked at some of them that way.
inedifix
Posts: 959
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:57 pm
Location: New Zealand

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by inedifix » Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:31 am

Dev wrote:To me the idea of doing it with another man was disgusting. Still is, as it is to most men hence why they don't do it.
Just out of curiosity, do you feel that the idea of consensual sex between men is disgusting, i.e. the thought of gay sex that does not involve you?
“What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can't decipher. What we can't understand we call nonsense. There is no free will. There are no variables. There is only the inevitable.” Chuck Palahniuk
Dev
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 914
Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:10 pm
Location: Dublin

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by Dev » Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:51 pm

inedifix wrote:
Dev wrote:To me the idea of doing it with another man was disgusting. Still is, as it is to most men hence why they don't do it.
Just out of curiosity, do you feel that the idea of consensual sex between men is disgusting, i.e. the thought of gay sex that does not involve you?
I've come to learn disgust is a very subjective word but yes. Straight people also do consensual sexual acts that disgust me too. Everyone has different boundaries of comfort relating to all types of sex.
Last edited by Dev on Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
chemicals
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1018
Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 5:21 pm
Location: Dublin

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by chemicals » Tue Jul 27, 2010 1:53 pm

Dev wrote: Straight people also do consensual sexual acts that disgust me too.
Especially snogging in front of other people at the same table in a pub !! :x
والقس هو مجنون
munsterdevil
Posts: 737
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:23 pm

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by munsterdevil » Tue Jul 27, 2010 2:17 pm

chemicals wrote:
Dev wrote: Straight people also do consensual sexual acts that disgust me too.
Especially snogging in front of other people at the same table in a pub !! :x
Whilst we have gone off topic a bit (a good discussion nonetheless) that is an excellent point from the two of ye.
Two possibilities exist: Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying. Arthur C. Clarke
Tulip1
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 1:07 pm
Location: Sligo

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by Tulip1 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 3:24 pm

chemicals wrote:
Dev wrote: Straight people also do consensual sexual acts that disgust me too.
Especially snogging in front of other people at the same table in a pub !! :x
Haha don't go to Holland. People really don't care over there.
Pope says atheists pick & choose their morals. Correct. Today I will be frowning on child abuse & not having a problem with homosexuality.
inedifix
Posts: 959
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 8:57 pm
Location: New Zealand

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by inedifix » Tue Jul 27, 2010 9:33 pm

Dev wrote:I've come to learn disgust is a very subjective word but yes. Straight people also do consensual sexual acts that disgust me too. Everyone has different boundaries of comfort relating to all types of sex.
Good to see you drawn the dots on that one. Many people don't.

It always amuses me whenever a man who has problem with homosexuality says something like: "the thought of a guy sticking his dick in another guy's ass just makes me feel sick." My response is generally either: a). then stop thinking about it; or b). "and how does the thought of your next door neighbour sticking his dick in his wife's ass make you feel?"

Apologies for the crudity.

And apologies for the off-topic drift.

Just a final comment to say that while the thought of personally indulging in certain sexual acts might cross my disgust boundary, I feel no disgust at all for anything consensual others choose to do in private. I wonder if that's odd?
“What we call chaos is just patterns we haven't recognized. What we call random is just patterns we can't decipher. What we can't understand we call nonsense. There is no free will. There are no variables. There is only the inevitable.” Chuck Palahniuk
Tulip1
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 1:07 pm
Location: Sligo

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by Tulip1 » Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:43 pm

No not odd at all (unless I am odd too) I think live and let live. I really couldn't care less what other people do as long as it is with consent of both (or more).

Never understood why any sex act would disgust some one. I might not like the idea but then I just choose not to try it. Maybe it is a cultural thing and is certain parts of Holland more open minded about sex and sexuality.

I was a bit shocked how homophobic people are here in the North West.
Pope says atheists pick & choose their morals. Correct. Today I will be frowning on child abuse & not having a problem with homosexuality.
Dev
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 914
Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:10 pm
Location: Dublin

Re: Questions for Theists

Post by Dev » Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:29 pm

inedifix wrote:Just a final comment to say that while the thought of personally indulging in certain sexual acts might cross my disgust boundary, I feel no disgust at all for anything consensual others choose to do in private. I wonder if that's odd?
I think it certainly isn't common. I suspect you haven't the same awful exposure as me - I had flatmates who would be so kind as to leave such distasteful pictures as my wallpaper on returning from a night of work. People do really really disgusting things. Let me just name drop a few - lolicon, golden showers, rainbow kisses . . . it just gets worse from there but all are consensual. I suggest people here do not google those terms, lest someone see your history or you are in work.

Maybe you are only disgusted when you see harm done on to others. For me anything from nail biting and nose picking upwards qualifies as disgusting.

This thread has gone from questions for theists to questions for Dev. Maybe if one of the mods would be so kind as to maybe move these into another thread, I'm not sure what thread title . . . .
Post Reply