stork theory - for psalm girl

Stuff not related to religion or atheism.
chemicals
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1018
Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 5:21 pm
Location: Dublin

stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by chemicals » Sun May 29, 2011 8:03 pm

Taken from this great site :D
http://sciencejokes.blogspot.com/2007/0 ... onist.html
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork.
والقس هو مجنون
Tulip1
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 1:07 pm
Location: Sligo

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by Tulip1 » Sun May 29, 2011 8:52 pm

I see my country has done the research so it must be true. I will no longer perform sex for reproduction.
Pope says atheists pick & choose their morals. Correct. Today I will be frowning on child abuse & not having a problem with homosexuality.
aiseiri47
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 177
Joined: Thu Sep 09, 2010 1:25 pm

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by aiseiri47 » Sun May 29, 2011 10:58 pm

haha, this is great. Definitely a great example about how facts can be misrepresented :roll:
DaithiDublin
Posts: 188
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Bray, Co. Wicklow
Contact:

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by DaithiDublin » Mon May 30, 2011 5:10 am

What's the controversy here? Of course a stork delivered me. Are you trying to suggest that my parents had sex?! Ewwww!!
As yet I have not found a single case of a terrestrial animal which fertilises itself.

- Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species
(he obviously never went to Bray)
HylandPaddy
Posts: 220
Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 5:17 pm
Location: Co. Donegal

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by HylandPaddy » Mon May 30, 2011 1:32 pm

But the THEORY of sexual reproduction is crazy – how can a single cell turn into a complex baby by RANDOM CHANCE?

All the billions of cells of a baby have to be put together in the right order; the chances of this happening are 10,000,000,000,000 to 1. In other words it is IMPOSSIBLE.

Stop believing in this LIE! You just made up this false religion so you can have more sex!
Condoms and the Pill is a conspiracy!!!!!!!
EMBRACE THE STORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan
leo
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Sep 18, 2010 1:56 pm
Location: Kildare

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by leo » Mon May 30, 2011 9:08 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol:
robreynolds2
Posts: 56
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 11:03 am
Location: Dresden, Germany

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by robreynolds2 » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:09 am

As some of you know I have been for some time a strong believer in IF (Intelligent Falling) which I know to be true as it is backed up by evidence (similar to the above evidence). This is similar and having read it once I am convinced it is true. Stork theory is quite revolutionary and totally true......how do I know this for sure you may ask? Well when something is true you will know it in your heart.

Therefore this theory has my unquestioned support :o
Morality is herd instinct in the individual - Friedrich Nietzsche

http://www.cabinbee.com
DaithiDublin
Posts: 188
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Bray, Co. Wicklow
Contact:

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by DaithiDublin » Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:05 pm

Omni magazine had a competition for funny theories once. The winner was the 'Buttered cat' theory:

Everyone knows that if you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet, but if you dropped buttered toast it always lands butter side down. So if you strap some buttered toast to the back of a cat and let it drop it will hover.

It's perfectly logical, but if you try it for yourself and it doesn't work, that just means you haven't followed the protocol correctly.
As yet I have not found a single case of a terrestrial animal which fertilises itself.

- Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species
(he obviously never went to Bray)
aZerogodist
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1280
Joined: Tue Apr 29, 2008 6:04 pm
Location: Co. CORK
Contact:

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by aZerogodist » Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:20 pm

This "Stork Theory" would explain the wrong DNA results on The Jeremy Kyle Show, the stork must have just dropped the wrong baby off.
chemicals
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1018
Joined: Wed May 06, 2009 5:21 pm
Location: Dublin

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Post by chemicals » Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:31 pm

more of the same on the stork ,and a great piss take of creationist logic if it were applied to a murder
Image
http://homepages.wmich.edu/~korista/silliness.html
والقس هو مجنون
Post Reply