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stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Sun May 29, 2011 8:03 pm
by chemicals
Taken from this great site :D
http://sciencejokes.blogspot.com/2007/0 ... onist.html
Two different theories exist concerning the origin of children: the theory of sexual reproduction, and the theory of the stork. Many people believe in the theory of sexual reproduction because they have been taught this theory at school.

In reality, however, many of the world's leading scientists are in favour of the theory of the stork. If the theory of sexual reproduction is taught in schools, it must only be taught as a theory and not as the truth. Alternative theories, such as the theory of the stork, must also be taught.

Evidence supporting the theory of the stork includes the following:

1. It is a scientifically established fact that the stork does exist. This can be confirmed by every ornithologist.

2. The alleged human foetal development contains several features that the theory of sexual reproduction is unable to explain.

3. The theory of sexual reproduction implies that a child is approximately nine months old at birth. This is an absurd claim. Everyone knows that a newborn child is newborn.

4. According to the theory of sexual reproduction, children are a result of sexual intercourse. There are, however, several well documented cases where sexual intercourse has not led to the birth of a child.

5. Statistical studies in the Netherlands have indicated a positive correlation between the birth rate and the number of storks. Both are decreasing.

6. The theory of the stork can be investigated by rigorous scientific methods. The only assumption involved is that children are delivered by the stork.

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Sun May 29, 2011 8:52 pm
by Tulip1
I see my country has done the research so it must be true. I will no longer perform sex for reproduction.

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Sun May 29, 2011 10:58 pm
by aiseiri47
haha, this is great. Definitely a great example about how facts can be misrepresented :roll:

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 5:10 am
by DaithiDublin
What's the controversy here? Of course a stork delivered me. Are you trying to suggest that my parents had sex?! Ewwww!!

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 1:32 pm
by HylandPaddy
But the THEORY of sexual reproduction is crazy – how can a single cell turn into a complex baby by RANDOM CHANCE?

All the billions of cells of a baby have to be put together in the right order; the chances of this happening are 10,000,000,000,000 to 1. In other words it is IMPOSSIBLE.

Stop believing in this LIE! You just made up this false religion so you can have more sex!
Condoms and the Pill is a conspiracy!!!!!!!
EMBRACE THE STORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 9:08 pm
by leo
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:09 am
by robreynolds2
As some of you know I have been for some time a strong believer in IF (Intelligent Falling) which I know to be true as it is backed up by evidence (similar to the above evidence). This is similar and having read it once I am convinced it is true. Stork theory is quite revolutionary and totally true......how do I know this for sure you may ask? Well when something is true you will know it in your heart.

Therefore this theory has my unquestioned support :o

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:05 pm
by DaithiDublin
Omni magazine had a competition for funny theories once. The winner was the 'Buttered cat' theory:

Everyone knows that if you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet, but if you dropped buttered toast it always lands butter side down. So if you strap some buttered toast to the back of a cat and let it drop it will hover.

It's perfectly logical, but if you try it for yourself and it doesn't work, that just means you haven't followed the protocol correctly.

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 2:20 pm
by aZerogodist
This "Stork Theory" would explain the wrong DNA results on The Jeremy Kyle Show, the stork must have just dropped the wrong baby off.

Re: stork theory - for psalm girl

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:31 pm
by chemicals
more of the same on the stork ,and a great piss take of creationist logic if it were applied to a murder
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