Of course this is anecdotal, but I would be very surprised if the local priest of your future wife would refuse to marry her in her own church because her husband to be has defected. There must be hundreds of church weddings every year where only one of the two people getting married is of the religion of the church in which they're getting married.
I would be surprised too! However I think it would be the worst surprise ever especially if my future wife had her heart set on some cute little church and an intolerant priest was in charge of it.
In relation to you funeral, would your parents really give you a traditional chruch funeral even though they know you're a non-believer? I know these topics are not very easy to approach, but is this not something you could talk to them about? Make a will with your intentions clearly outlined.
Like I said, I don't really care about my funeral. I'll be dead however my family most likely won't be. Therefore I would like to leave it up to them if they want a funeral in a church for me well . . . I guess my funeral will be in a church. Each to their own, I guess some people want control over how they will be remembered. I have no desire to leave a legacy or lasting impressions. Some good memories for others and a fulfilled life for myself is fine. The topics are for me very easy to approach with my parents.
And 'last rites'?? Are you genuinely concerned that you wouldn't be able to get last rites? If a priest came near me on my death bed to peform the last rites, assuming I had the strength, I think I'd box him!
No, I'm not really concerned about last rites.
But seriously, if this is something you're concerned about, this is the easiest thing for you to be able to do. If you're on your death bed and you have a sudden awakening to the Lord, ther'd be very few priests who wouldn't give you the last rites if you asked them to. In fact you could ask to be baptised again and then given the last rites. So it's not a one way ticket to hell!
All I can say is, I see it as a big decision, I want to defect but I would be happier to leave it for a while.
I think this conversation is less to do with atheism and defecting and more about the differences between me and you and how we make our decisions. You see no reason to wait, I see no reason to rush.
Throughout this post I've noticed you have a very high opinion of priests. You give them them a lot of leeway for their capacity to 'help' where they see fit.