My approach anyone??

Issues relating to promoting a secular state education and raising children in a non-religious home
Post Reply
RichardDawkinsFan
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 1:32 pm

My approach anyone??

Post by RichardDawkinsFan » Thu Mar 24, 2011 2:39 pm

I'm 29. I'm married.(Huge Church Wedding). I have one daughter.(17months old). One more due in August. My daughter was baptised. I stood on the altar and lied to the Priest and my brother the Godfather also an Atheist lied too. But it is a dance we must dance in order to keep our families, our community and our children equal within our society. Isn't it??
My approach is this: My whole family is Catholic with the acception of my brother and myself. My wife's family are all Catholic. None of our family members are huge church goers, but still feel that certain things are needed such as Baptism, Church weddings, Communion etc etc. My wife is slowly turning towards Atheism. However, we intend to send our children to the local N.S 2mins away. Very very Catholic. We intend getting our children baptised and communion and confirmation. Not because we believe in it. But so they simply FIT IN. I will explain to them all the way through life about Atheism and my views so that after they get confirmed they can then say you know this is all shit I quit, or yes I believe in God. I am a Catholic. Their choice. I was brought up without any Atheist in the family and yet still got here. So they will get here much faster won't they?? Yes I am a hypocrite. Yes I am confusing the issue. Yes there are better ways. But you know what? This is the way that makes my life easiest. Any other suggestions for me would be really welcome.. Thanks guys.
Human beings are all equal. Religion, color, sexuality and other 'tags' should mean nothing. Live life without bias or discrimination.
bockedy
Posts: 98
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2009 8:18 pm

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by bockedy » Thu Mar 24, 2011 3:11 pm

I have great empathy for your situation and I am sure that many atheists make the same decision. However, speaking for myself, I want to make my own stand where I can. I don't hide my atheism and want to be known as an atheist so that gradually it becomes more acceptable as an option for others. I don't want to be counted among the religious by default. And finally, I want to spare my own child from faith formation if I can help it. However I appreciate that all of us must choose our battles wisely, everyone's situation is different.

One of the reasons I'm a member of this forum is to draw insights and support from the like-minded in this effort, perhaps you can too.
May Ea smite thee with the might of his fist!
DaithiDublin
Posts: 188
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 6:15 pm
Location: Bray, Co. Wicklow
Contact:

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by DaithiDublin » Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:18 pm

I don't have kids, but I can appreciate not wanting to use your children to fight your battles for you. And what I mean by that, is that I consider children (esp. of primary school age) too young to be considered atheist or religious.

For a parent to label their children as either is unfair. Those are things you should decide for yourself only when you feel ready.

On the face of it, the other parents in your kids' school don't seem to have those concerns and are content to have their children indoctrinated and labelled.

Under the surface, however, I can't help wondering just how many of the other parents in this 'very, very Catholic' school' are people just like yourself. Doing whatever they think is necessary to assist their children in 'fitting in'.

How many are carrying on these roles for themselves also? Is it the community that matters to them, or the faith they must depict in order to take part in it?


__
And welcome along, btw!
Dave
As yet I have not found a single case of a terrestrial animal which fertilises itself.

- Charles Darwin, The Origin of Species
(he obviously never went to Bray)
Marks
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 362
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:09 pm

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by Marks » Thu Mar 24, 2011 4:33 pm

The majority of people do not complain about the situation they find themselves in. The get their children baptised just to fit in and they don’t say a thing.
I’m not judging you or anyone else because I appreciate how difficult the situation is but the fact of the matter is that the Government claim that people like you do not exist. They go to the UN and say that there is no evidence that parents are getting their children baptised just to get into and fit into the local Catholic school. There is no evidence because people will not complain and the result of this is that the battle just gets harder. They are going to the UN and are using your wish for your child to fit in against our claim that you do exist and that we have no rights in the education system.
Tulip1
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1529
Joined: Sat Aug 08, 2009 1:07 pm
Location: Sligo

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by Tulip1 » Thu Mar 24, 2011 6:10 pm

Well I found out first hand what speaking out does to you in a community, so I fully understand where you come from.

As Marks said it is difficult since people like you don't exist according to the government.

I wish we had a way of proving that you do.

Anyway this is a personal decission I cannot comment on. I am the last to judge you since I have it a lot easier since I grew up in an atheist surrounding in a country where religion is something you do in your own time.
Pope says atheists pick & choose their morals. Correct. Today I will be frowning on child abuse & not having a problem with homosexuality.
Marks
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 362
Joined: Mon Sep 07, 2009 12:09 pm

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by Marks » Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:12 pm

The Equality Authority registers complaints. That does not mean that you must actually lodge a complaint with the Equality Tribunal. You may take a different route or even decide that you cannot go ahead with lodging the complaint.

Out of the whole country there was only one complaint last year on the grounds of religion. I will give you one guess on who that was. On those figures there is only one family in the country that has an issue with the religious integrated curriculum.
Dev
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 914
Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:10 pm
Location: Dublin

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by Dev » Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:37 pm

Perhaps you should bear the burden you're avoiding so your kids don't have to. Whats best for your kids and whats easiest for you will rarely coincide.
mkaobrih
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 1601
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2007 10:48 pm

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by mkaobrih » Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:55 pm

Dev wrote:Perhaps you should bear the burden you're avoiding so your kids don't have to. Whats best for your kids and whats easiest for you will rarely coincide.
+ 100
If you want things to change - you’ve got to at least move towards change.
Well said Dev.
The church complains of persecution when it's not allowed to persecute.
Feardorcha
Atheist Ireland Member
Atheist Ireland Member
Posts: 1266
Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 4:28 pm

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by Feardorcha » Thu Mar 24, 2011 10:45 pm

Not because we believe in it. But so they simply FIT IN.
If you lie to your children, your family and your community and teach your children to lie in order to fit in with the crowd, what do you suggest parents should do with children who are disabled, gay, red-haired, left-handed, black? What should they do to 'fit in'?
The most important lesson in growing up is to realise that everyone is different and has a right to be different. I hope you make it one day.
funkyderek
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 373
Joined: Mon Feb 26, 2007 4:54 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Contact:

Re: My approach anyone??

Post by funkyderek » Fri Mar 25, 2011 11:54 am

RichardDawkinsFan wrote:Yes I am a hypocrite. Yes I am confusing the issue. Yes there are better ways. But you know what? This is the way that makes my life easiest.
Anything for an easy life, eh? No doubt, when true equality is achieved and it's easier for you to live a life without hypocrisy, you'll be grateful to those who took a stand for what is right. In the meantime, just try not to get in our way, OK?
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead

Image

Image Image Image Image
Post Reply