Atheist Ireland Forum

Hello everyone
i dont know if this is the right place to ask this but its about my kids.
my wife is still a God believer , I am not.
now i have two kids at home ages 5 and 3
the one who is 5 years old started school this year and with school come lots of questions like Easter ,,, who we are etc etc
now today i was shocked when i found that my wife is actually teaching the kids about religion and im always out side

so any tips about how to respond to this situation without damaging my relationship with my wife?

thanks

Pre-nup was the time for that not age 3 & 5.....

Was it ever discussed?

Were ground rules decided ?

when we got married i was not an atheist so no it wasnt discussed before

we agreed on letting the kids decide when they grow up and thats why they are in ET school now

but she said that they are asking a lot

cheers

Welcome to my world...

I was not an "in your face" atheist when we got married and agreed to bring up any kids as catholic.

Roll on 9 years and I am keeping (no matter how hard it is) my promise.

However the indoctrination they are getting does not seem to be sinking in

be honest to your kids. tell them some people believe and some don't. I met a few people who are doing that.

Your wife should respect your opinion too. Your kids should know both.

My wife and I are both atheistsbut still we tell my 5 year old son that some people believe in theses storues and we don't.

I've had a relationship go south due to my not being of a particular religious background. I'm 19 so obviously (thankfully) no kids involved.

I think that more information is needed to offer advice, OP. I mean, if your partner was a believer in the same way that, say, my friends are believers, then just giving both sides of the argument and sending your child to an ET school seems like a good 'generic' way of dealing with it. Tulip1's advice, basically.

But if it's anything more serious then you might have trouble. It doesn't sound that way from the given information, but if someone is properly devout they will consider their side of the argument 'correct' and anything else (not specifically yours) to be both wrong and unsuitable for children.

So unless further info changes my mind, yeah, giving both sides frankly and as objectively as possible is the way to go.

Hello Guys
just wanted to tell you that i managed to get out of that situation

after a LONG discussion i faced her with something she couldn't answer, i told her, if there is a god and if he wanted my kids to know him there will be nothing i can do to stop him, RIGHT ??? so why does god needs you to teach my kids about him. let him find them as he "found" other kids and prophets and bla bla bla men

so we agreed to talk about any thing before answering the kids

it wasn't an easy task but im not welling to give up.

thanks everyone for your advices and tips

What is it your wife is telling your kids. About the catholic religion? You could explain to them this is just one religion and just one belief. They are still so young to know whats real and not. Its like santa , tooth faires or any imaginary being or creature to may or may not tell child about. The best thing to do really is to talk to your wife about it. its all about meeting people half way when one person believes and the other doesnt. My partner believes in god but i do not, so I am sort of in the same situation as you but havent given birth yet so have a few years yet till the questions start. We wont be bring our child up RC but i am totally open to the idea when they get older they can decide for themselfs if they want to follow whatever religion they like.
Religion causes so many problems!!!!!

I think I can contribute something to this. My husband is muslim and I am atheist-when we met, I was wavering between agnosticism and atheism, been brought up in a non-practising protestand family.
When our child was born, we could fortunately agree easily that she would not receive religious education and would be free to choose for herself when grown-up.
After a couple of years, my stepsons joined the family, both having been brought up in the muslim faith.
For some years, my husband insisted on them doing their prayers together. As they could not pray during school, it led to them having to spend increasing time after school praying, which clashed with sports and hobbies. Finally, he gave up on the praying-it just doesn't fit in with an active childhood (yieppee-thank you soccer, dance etc.).
At school, none of them received religious education. They studied ethics/moral education instead (facilitated in a Catholic primary school!!!).
Growing up, every now and then each one had their doubts, curious about God, Allah, saints and the rest of it. Each time I explained things to the best of my knowledge-how the bible and the Quaran were written, why some christians believe in saints and others do not, why muslims don't eat pork and the rest of it.
All the time, it was agreed that the boys, too, would have the freedom to decide once they are 18. Well, one reached that age and wanted to be recorded as "no religion" on the census, the two younger have continuously expressed the same wish. I would say they are all three agnostics verging on atheism.
At home, the only concession I make of respect to my husband is to serve no pork products (fine, as long as I can enjoy my rashers). On the other hand, he doesn't pray anymore and I would classify him agnostic.
So: The other parent has the right to teach the kids his/her faith. It is your right to present the other side of the story - science programs about the universe and evolution are brilliant, absolutely brilliant in this. In the end, your kids choose for themselves when they grow up.
Good luck!
Ps-most importantly, choose a good spouse/partner!

Amazing! So good to hear there is RC schools who do really respect other religions and none.