Don't be too hard on your mum
Firstly thanks for your kind comments.
The issue is not one of being hard on my mum but of wishing to protect and help her. Unfortunately she does believe the healing will help. When the cancer came back with a vengeance she looked sad and said, "but I prayed and had masses said every day". She was evidently disappointed. And she will continue to experience this disappointment as the various tests and results come through. I can't see much comfort in this for her just desperation and disappointment.
My comment was a criticism of the Catholic church that they emphasise healing rather than help people learn to cope with the situation. The procedure seems to work this way.
Step 1. Pray for cure
Step 2. Cure does not happen
Step 3. Well, it was not God's will.
Now you will note that the church never starts with step 3, this only happens when the person dies.
Now it is part of their dogma that God's will be done ; so I am looking for something inside her belief system that will help her accept the reality of the situation. And this is to move straight to step 3. I will wait for the right moment.